（不斷更新）笑/笑話（來自電郵）

笑  話（四十四）

Confucius Say…
（from email）

孔夫子說……
（中文譯文：溫曼瑛）

It's OK to let a fool（傻瓜） kiss you, but don't let a kiss fool（愚弄） you.

讓一個傻瓜吻你沒問題，但不要讓一個吻愚弄你。

A kiss is just shopping upstairs for downstairs merchandise.

親吻就像為採購樓下的商品在樓上購物一樣。

It is better to lose（丟失） a lover than love a loser（失敗者）.

寧可失去愛人也不要愛一個失敗者。

A drunken man's words are a sober man's thoughts.

喝醉酒的人說出清醒人的想法。

Marriage is like a bank account. You put it in, you take it out and you lose interest.

婚姻是一個銀行賬戶。你把存款放進去，又將存款取出来，於此同時你還失去了利息。

Via*gra is like Disneyland. A one-hour wait for a 2-minute ride.

“偉哥”就像迪斯尼樂園。等候一小時，為的是2分鐘的乘騎。

It is much better to want the mate you do not have than to have the mate you do not want.

沒有你想要的伴侶好過擁有你不想要的伴侶。

A joke is like se*x. Neither is any good if you don't get it.

笑話跟做愛一樣。得不到的話還有啥好處？

笑  話（四十六）

This was nominated for best joke of the year - worth sharing.
（from email）

此文被提名爲年度最佳笑話，值得分享。
（中文譯文：溫曼瑛）

A Somali arrives in Vancouver as a new immigrant to Canada ...

作爲加拿大的新移民，一位索馬利人到達溫哥華……

He stops the first person he sees walking down the street and says  ... 'Thank you Mr. Canadian for letting me in this country, giving me housing,  money for food, free medical care, free education and no taxes!'

他在街上走，看到第一個人時截停他說……「謝謝你加拿大先生，我在加拿大這個國家，你們給我房子住，給我錢買食物，免費醫療，免費教育和免稅！」

The passerby says, 'You are mistaken, I am from Pakistan '.

路人說，「你弄錯了，我來自巴基斯坦。」

The man goes on and encounters another passerby ... ' Thank you for having such a beautiful country here in Canada !'

男人繼續往前走，遇到另一個路人……「感謝你讓我呆在加拿大這樣一個美麗的國家！」

The person says, 'I not Canadian, I Vietnamese.'

那人說：「我不是加拿大人，我是越南人。」

The new arrival walks further, and the next person he sees he stops, shakes his hand and says .... 'Thank you for the wonderful Canada !'

新移民再往前走，他看到另一人就停下來，握著他的手說…「為美妙的加拿大我要感謝你！」

That person puts up his hand and says, 'I am from Middle East , I am not Canadian !'

那人舉起他的手說：「我從中東來，我不是加拿大人！」

He finally sees a nice lady and asks ... 'Are you a Canadian ?'

他終於看到了一個漂亮的女士，問……「你是加拿大人嗎？」

She says , 'No, I am from Africa !'

她說：「不，我來自非洲！」

Puzzled, he asks her, 'Where are all the Canadians ?'

他感到困惑，問她：「那麼加拿大人都在哪里？」

The African lady checks her watch and says ....'Probably at work！'  

非洲女人查看她的手錶後，說：「大概在工作吧！」

笑  話（四十八）

Over Time
（from email）

久而久之
（中文譯文：溫曼瑛）

A newly married husband saved his wife's number on his mobile as "My life".

一個新婚丈夫在他的流動電話用「我的一生」保存他的妻子的電話號碼。

After one year of marriage he changed the number to "My Wife".

結婚一年後他把它改成「我的妻子」。

After 2 years of marriage he changed the number to "Home"?

結婚2年後，改成 「家」？

After 5 years of marriage he changed the number to "Hitler".

結婚5年後，改成「希特勒」。

After 10 years of marriage he changed the number to "Wrong Number".

結婚10年後，變成「錯號（搭錯線）」。

笑  話（四十九）

Some English Jokes
（from email）

英文笑話
（小標題及中文譯文：
溫曼瑛）

A Second Language（一門外語）

A cat and her four kittens ran into a large dog. When the kittens cowered, the cat let out a series of loud barks, scaring the dog away.

一隻貓和她的四隻小貓遇到一隻大狗。小貓嚇得蜷縮，母貓汪汪大叫幾聲，把狗嚇跑了。

Turning to her kittens, the cat said, "You see how important it is to know a second language."

她轉向小貓，說：「你們現在明白掌握一門外語有多重要吧？」

Sooner or later（遲早）

A thief with a long record was brought before the judge.

有一長串犯罪記錄的小偷被帶到法官面前。

Judge: Have you ever stolen things?

法官：你偷過東西嗎？

Thief: Oh, now and then.

小偷：哦，時不時。

Judge: And where have you stolen these things?

法官：你在哪里偷東西？

Thief: Oh, here and there.

小偷：哦，這裏那裏。

Judge: Right. Lock him up, officer.

法官：好！把他鎖起來，警官。

Thief: Hey, when do I get out jail?

小偷：嘿，我什麽時候可以出獄？

Judge: Oh, sooner or later.

法官：哦，遲早。

溫曼瑛：原文妙在運用 "now and then"、 "here and there" 、 "sooner or later"，簡明扼要，畫龍點睛。

I know who god is（我知道上帝是誰）

A boy says to her mother, Mom, is God a man or woman?

一個男孩問她的母親：媽媽，上帝是男人還是女人？

The mom thinks a while and says, Well, son, God is both man and woman.

媽媽想了一會兒說：嗯，兒子，上帝是男人和女人。

The son is confused, so he asks, Is God black or white?

兒子糊塗了，為此又問：上帝是黑人還是白人呢？

The mother replies, God is both black and white, honey.

媽媽回答：上帝是黑人和白人，親愛的。

The son, still curious, says after a while, Is God gay or straight, mommy?

兒子仍然好奇，過了一會兒，他說：上帝是同性戀還是異性戀，媽媽？

The mother, getting a little worried, answers, Son, God is both gay and straight.

這時母親有點擔心，回答說：兒子，上帝是同性戀和異性戀。

The son thinks about it, and his face lights up when he thinks he finally has answered his question: Is God Michael Jackson?

兒子想了想，認為所提出的問題終於有了答案，於是神采飛揚，說：上帝是邁克爾·傑克遜嗎？

Ask husband to go shopping
（請求丈夫幫忙購物）

A wife asks her husband, "Could you please go shopping for me and buy one carton of milk and if they have avocados, get 6.

妻子求丈夫幫忙購物：「幫我買一盒牛奶好嗎？如果有鱷梨，買6個。」

A short time later the husband comes back with 6 cartons of milk.

很快，丈夫帶著6盒牛奶回來了。

The wife asks him, "Why did you buy 6 cartons of milk?"

妻子問他：「你爲什麽買6盒牛奶？」

He replied, "They had avocados."

他回答說：「牛奶含有鱷梨呀！」

If you're a woman, I'm sure you're going back to read it again! Men will get it the first time.

如果你是個女人，我肯定你將重讀一遍！男人嘛，第一次讀到吧！

Same price（同價）

Business Man in 1st Class, to a Gorgeous Air Hostess:

一位生意人在頭等艙面對一個漂亮的空中小姐。

Business Man: What is your name?

商人：請教貴姓大名？

Hostess: Angela Benz, Sir!

女：我叫安吉拉賓士，先生！

Business Man: Lovely name, any relation to Mercedes Benz? (Good Line ?)

商人：可愛的名字，跟梅賽德斯 - 賓士（即品牌汽車奔驰）有關係嗎？（好的輪廓？）

Hostess: Yes Sir, very close.

女：是的，先生，非常接近。

Business Man: How close?

生意人：有多近？

Hostess: Same price!

女：同價！

What does DC stand for?
（DC代表什麽？）

An American teacher asked one of her pupils, "What's the nation's capital?"

一位美國老師問她的一個學生：「國家的首都是什麽？」

The reply was "Washington DC".

回答是「Washington（華盛頓） DC」。

What does DC stand for?

那麼 DC又代表什麽？

On being asked what the "DC" stood for, the pupils all answered："Dot com!"

在被問到 "DC" 代表什麽時，所以學生們都說：「點COM！」（溫曼瑛註：美國首都華盛頓全名是 Washington, District of Columbia. 華盛頓(哥倫比亞特區)。 D. C. 是 District of Columbia的縮寫。

笑  話（五十一）

follow the example
（from email）

仿 效
（中文譯文：溫曼瑛）

A popular motivational speaker was entertaining his Audience. He Said: "The best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman who wasn't my wife!"

一位受歡迎的激*情的演說家在娛樂他的聽衆。他說：「最佳的十年歲月裡我都在不是我的妻子的女人懷抱裡度過！」

The audience was in silence and shock.

全場沈默和震驚。

The speaker added: "And that woman was my mother!"

講者補加一句：「那女人是我母親！」

Laughter and Applause!!!

笑聲和掌聲充斥全場！！！

A week later, a top manager trained by the Motivational speaker tried to crack this very effective joke At home.

一個星期後，一位總經理被激*情的演說家培訓，看看非常有效的玩笑在家裏是否管用。

He was a bit foggy after a drink. He said loudly to His wife who was preparing dinner, "The greatest years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman who was not my Wife!"

他酒後有點雲裏霧裏。大聲地對在廚房準備晚餐的妻子說：「我一生中最佳的年代都花在一個不是我的妻子的女人的懷抱裡！」

The wife went，"ahhhh!" with shock and rage.

妻子「啊」一聲大為震驚和憤怒。

Standing there for 20 seconds trying to recall the second Half of the joke, the manager finally blurted out "...and I can't remember who she was!"

站在那裏足足有20秒鐘，想盡辦法記起玩笑下半部的總經理終於衝口而出：「......可我不記得她是誰！」

By the time the manager regained his consciousness, he was on a hospital bed nursing burns from boiling water.

當經理恢復了知覺，他發現自己躺在醫院的病床上，因被滾燙的開水燒傷需要護理。

Moral of the story...

故事的寓意是... ...

Don't Copy if you can't PASTE.

不能張貼的話千萬不要複製。

笑  話（五十三）

When I'm 100, If I Lean A Little, Let Me!!
（from email）

我一百歲時，身體稍有傾斜的話，讓讓我！！
（中文譯文：溫曼瑛）

The family wheeled Grandma out on the lawn, in her wheelchair, where the activities for her 100th birthday were taking place.

家人把坐在輪椅的祖母推出來，在草坪上為她慶祝一百歲生日。

Grandma couldn't speak very well, but she would write notes when she needed to communicate.

祖母說話說不好，但是在需要和他人溝通時她會寫字條。

After a short time out on the lawn, Grandma started leaning off to the right, so some family members grabbed her, straightened her up, and stuffed pillows on her right side.

在草坪上呆了一會兒，祖母開始把身體向右移，家人就抓住她將她調直，把枕頭塞到右邊。

A short time later, she started leaning off to her left, so again the family grabbed her and stuffed pillows on her left side.

過了一會兒，她開始向左移動，家人又抓住她將枕頭塞到左邊。

Soon she started leaning forward, so the family members again grabbed her, and then tied a pillowcase around her waist to hold her up.

不久，她開始向前傾斜，家人又抓住她，用枕頭套栓住她的腰支撐她。

A nephew who arrived late came up to Grandma and said.... 'Hi, Grandma, you're looking good! How are they treating you?'

遲到的姪子來到現場，他走近祖母，對她說：『嗨，奶奶，您看起來氣色很好! 他們待您怎樣？』

Grandma took out her little notepad and slowly wrote a note to the nephew......

祖母拿出了她的小記事本，慢慢地寫了一張字條給侄子......

'Bastards won't let me fart'.

『混蛋，不讓我放屁』。

笑 話（五十九）

Money has different names !!!
（from email）

金錢具形形色色的名稱!!!
（中文譯文：溫曼瑛）

In temple its called (donation) ,

在寺廟被稱爲（捐贈）

in school its (fee) ,

在學校（學費），

in marriage it's called (dowry),

在婚姻這叫做（嫁妝），

in divorce (alimony),

在離婚（贍養費），

when u owe someone its (debt ),

當你欠別人的（債務），

when u pay the government (tax),

你付給政府時（稅收），

in court (fines),

在法院（罰款），

civil servant retirees (pension) ,

公務員退休（養老金），

boss to workers (salary),

老闆對工人（工資），

master to subordinates (wages),

掌控下屬（薪水），

children (maintenance),  

孩子們（維修費），

when u borrow from bank (loan),

當你向銀行借錢（貸款），

when u offer after a service (tips),

當你接受服務後提供（貼士即小費），

to kidnappers(ransom) ,

在綁架（勒索），

illegally received in d name of service (bribe).

用服務的名義非法授受（賄賂）。

The question is "when a Husband gives to his Wife what do we call it??

問題來了：當丈夫給妻子的那筆，我們稱它為什麽？？

Answer: Money given to your wife is called 'duty' and every man has to do his duty coz wives are not 'duty free'... hahahaha.

答案：給你妻子的錢被稱爲「責任」，每個人都要履行自己的職責，因爲妻子非「免稅」……哈哈哈哈。

笑 話（六十二）

A cabby and a Nun
（from email）

計程車司機和修女
（中文譯文：溫曼瑛）

A cabby picks up a Nun.

計程車司機接載一位修女。

She gets into the cab, and notices that the VERY handsome cab driver won't stop staring at her.

修女坐上車，注意到非常英俊的司機在不停地盯著她。

She asks him why he is staring.

她問他爲什麽老在盯著她。

He replies: "I have a question to ask you but I don't want to offend you."

他回答說：「我有一個問題想問你，但我不想冒犯你。」

She answers, "My son, you cannot offend me. When you're as old as I am and have been a nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just about everything. I'm sure that there's nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive."

她回答：「我的兒子，你不會冒犯我。當你和我一樣年紀，和我一樣做了長時間的修女，你就有機會看到和聽到一切。我確信你所說所問的我不會感到冒犯。」

"Well, I've always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me."

「是這樣的，我一直幻想有一位修女親吻我。」

She responds, "Well, let's see what we can do about that: 1, you have to be single, and 2, you must be Catholic."

她回應：「好的，讓我們想想能為那事做些什麼：一 你必須是單身；二 你必須是天主教徒。」

The cab driver is very excited and says, "Yes, I'm single and Catholic!"

計程車司機很興奮地說：「是的，我是單身，是天主教徒！」

"OK," the nun says. "Pull into the next alley."

「好吧，」修女說。「把車開到下一條巷子。」

The nun fulfills his fantasy, with a kiss that would make a hooker blush.

修女實現了他的幻想，一個足以使妓女臉紅的吻。

But when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts crying.

在他們回來的路上，計程車司機開始哭泣。

"My dear child," says the nun, "why are you crying?"

「我親愛的孩子，」修女問，「你爲什麽哭？」

"Forgive me but I've sinned. I lied and I must confess, I'm married and I'm Jewish."

「原諒我，我有罪。我撒謊了，我必須承認，我結婚了，我是猶太教徒。」

The nun says, "That's OK. My name is Kevin and I'm going to a Halloween party."

修女說：「沒事的。我叫凱文，我要去參加萬聖節派對。」

笑 話（六十三）

《新忆苦思甜》（from ny）

1、過去出门，抬脚就走，驴子，马车，大敞篷总能把你颠到。

现在出门，小车，大巴，高铁，飞机，但不一定叫你回来。

2、過去结婚，两张被子一张床，三斤瓜子四斤糖，简屋陋室，婚后日子过得踏踏实实，不离不弃；

现在结婚，房子车子大家电，金银玉翠，婚后日子过得疑神疑鬼，说散就散。

3、過去出门遇到困难有人给你帮忙你一定以为遇到雷锋了。

现在出门遇到困难有人给你帮忙你一定以为遇到骗子了。

4、一男一女亲热，肯定是两口子；

現在一男一女亲热可能是：领导和下属；公关和客户；警察和小偷；妓女和嫖客；老师和学生；大款和小三……。

5、过去粗茶淡饭，出门走路骑车，想胖都胖不了，老觉得胖点体面。

现在鸡鸭 鱼肉，出门上车，想瘦都瘦不下来，才明白瘦点健康。

6、过去吃啥都香，吃肉像过年，喜气洋洋；

现在吃啥都怕，吃肉像吞毒，战战兢兢。

7、过去衣服两三件，穿了洗，洗了穿，出门照样高高兴兴。

现在衣服挂的满衣柜，换过来，试过去，出门总觉得纠纠结结。

8、过去愁的是还能吃些什么。

现在愁的是还有什么能吃。

9、过去饿着肚子喊着要去解放全人类。

现在吃饱喝足却盼着别人来解放自己。

10、过去是知识青年上山下乡，接受贫下中农再教育。

现在是农民都跑到城里当了工人，城里工人下岗都跑到农村养鸭种地。

11、现在是农村人都跑到城里逛商场泡酒吧，洗桑拿，住酒店，体会城里人的文明；城里人都跑到农村，赏菜地，住农家，吃野菜，睡土炕，体验农村人的恬静。

12、过去生儿子牛气哄哄，盼的是一个人的前程。

现在生女儿喜出望外，押的是全家人的富贵。

13、过去大学生是天之骄子，到哪儿都高人一等。

现在大学生是天之焦子，到哪儿都低头装孙。

14、过去的领导都是努力表现自己，显示自己的才能。

现在的领导都是努力掩饰自己，隐瞒自己的***。

15、过去一个人每月三十块养活一家子，没觉得过不下去。

现在一个人每月三千块还觉得快活不下来。

16、过去捐款想少捐却不好意思，怕别人说你没觉悟。

现在捐款，即使想多捐却没胆量，怕别人骂你脑子进水。

17、如今农村有钱人都从山里搬到城里住高楼，城里有钱人都钻到山里住别墅。

18、过去出门，一年半载，写封信，写啥都真。

现在出门，十天半月，打手机屁谎连天。

19、过去信报纸，

后来信电视，现在信谣言。

20、过去干事遇到困难领导叫迎难而上，

现在干事遇到波折领导叫留给子孙——最典型的是“搁置争议，共同开发”。弄得武二郎悔得肠子都青了——早有这脑子，何苦要守“道德”这劳什子玩意干什么，与武大郎、西门庆共同开发潘金莲多好！！

笑  話（六十四）

S0ME OF THESE ARE RERUNS （from email）

當中有一些是重演
（中文譯文：溫曼瑛）

Every Wife is a "Mistress" for her Husband: "Miss" for one hour & "Stress" for the next 23!

每一个妻子對她的丈夫而言是個情妇：想念只是一小时，接下来的23小時是壓力！

溫曼瑛註：mistress 是「情婦」，miss是多義詞，「想念」是其中之一。

There are 2 times when a Man doesn't understand a Woman: Before Marriage and After Marriage.

男人有兩次不理解女人：婚前和婚後。

My Husband And I Divorced Over Religious Differences: He Thought He Was God, and I Didn't.

我和我丈夫之所以離婚在於宗教上的差異：他認爲自己是上帝，而我卻不認同。

Marriage Is Like A Public Toilet: Those Waiting Outside Are Desperate To Get In & Those Inside Are Desperate To Come Out.

婚姻像是一個公共廁所：在廁所外面等待的急切地想進去；廁所裏面的那些人迫切地想出來。

Why Were Hurricanes Usually Named After Women? Because When They Arrive, they're wet and wild, But When They Go, They Take Your House And Car...

爲什麽颶風通常以女人的名字命名？因爲當它們到達的時候，它們是潮濕狂野的，但它們離去時，把你的房子和車子捲走……

A Man Goes To The Wizard To Ask If He Can Remove A Curse He Has Been Living With For The Last 40 Years:

一個男人去問巫師能否移除他已經共度40年的詛咒。

The Wizard Says, "Maybe, But You Will Have To Tell Me The Exact Words That Were Used To Put The Curse On You.

巫師說：「或許可以，但是你得告訴我詛咒你的確切的詞語。」

The Man Says Without Hesitation, "I Now Pronounce You Man And Wife."

他毫不遲疑地說：「我現在宣佈你們結爲夫妻。」

Husband Searching Keywords on Google: "How to Tackle Wife? Google Search Result, "Still Searching".

丈夫在谷歌搜索關鍵字：「如何對付妻子？」谷歌的搜索結果是：「仍在搜索」。

A Man Goes To A Shrink And Says, "Doctor, My Wife Is Unfaithful To Me. Every Evening, She Goes To Larry's Bar And Picks Up Men. In Fact, She Sleeps With Anybody Who Asks Her! I'm Going Crazy. What Do You Think I Should Do?"

一個男人去神經科醫生，說：「醫生，我妻子對我不忠。每天晚上，她去拉里的酒吧結識男人。事實上，任何男人只要有所求她就與人同枕共眠！我要瘋了。你覺得我應該怎么做？」

"Relax," Says The Doctor, "Take A Deep Breath And Calm Down. Now, Tell Me, Exactly Where Is Larry's Bar?"

「放鬆，」醫生說：「做一個深呼吸，冷靜下來。現在，你能告訴我拉里的酒吧在什麼地方嗎？」

Husband Throwing Darts at His Wife's Photo and Not Even a Single One Hitting the Target... From Another Room Wife Called The Husband: “Honey What Are You Doing...Husband: “MISSING YOU”...

丈夫往他妻子的照片扔飛鏢，可一個都沒有命中目標……妻子從另一個房間叫喚丈夫的：「親愛的，你在做什麽……」丈夫：「想念你……」

A Man Goes To See The Rabbi. "Rabbi, Something Terrible Is Happening And I Have To Talk To You About It."

一個男人去看拉比 (猶太教祭司)。「大師，發生了可怕的事情，我得告訴你。」

The Rabbi Asked, "What's Wrong?"

拉比問：「怎麼回事？」

The Man Replied, "My Wife Is Poisoning Me."

那人回答說：「我的妻子要毒死我。」

The Rabbi, Very Surprised By This, Asks, "How Can That Be?"

拉比，對此非常驚訝，問：「怎麽會呢？」

The man then pleads, "I'm telling you, I'm certain she's poisoning me, what I should do?"

他祈求道：「我告訴你，我確信她要毒死我，我該做什麽？」

The Rabbi Then Offers, "Tell You What. Let Me Talk to Her, I'll See What I Can Find out and I'll Let You Know."

拉比提議：「告訴你怎麼做。讓我跟她說說，我看看能發現什麼，我會讓你知道。」

The Rabbi Calls after a while And Says, "Well, I Spoke To Her For Three Hours. You Want My Advice?"

拉比打電話，一會兒他說，「好了，我和她聊了三個小時。你接受我的建議嗎？」

The Man Said "Yes".

男人說可以。

The Rabbi Replied, "Take the poison！"

拉比說：「把毒藥拿走。」

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY...

為日子著想……

Women are like phones:

女人和電話一樣：

They like to be held, talked to and touched often.

她們喜歡被握住，有人與她們交談和時時被觸摸。

But push the wrong button and you ' re disconnected...

但一旦按錯了鍵，你就被掛斷......

Difference Between Complete & Finish...

完整和結束的差異……

People say there is no difference between COMPLETE & FINISH. But there is... When you marry the right one, you are COMPLETE.... And when you marry the wrong one, you are FINISHED..... And when the right one catches you with the wrong one, you are ... COMPLETELY FINISHED!

人們都說完整和結束毫無差異。但差別還是有的......當你和合適的人結婚，你就是完整......當你選錯對象，你就完蛋.....当正面的一方的你跟错了人，你就.....徹底完蛋！

溫曼瑛註：文中巧妙地運用COMPLETE 和 FINISHED（多義詞）來形容婚姻。

笑   話（六十六）

The Parrot and the turkey - a great Thanksgiving story
（from email）

鸚鵡和火雞——
很棒的感恩節故事
（中文譯文：溫曼瑛）

A young man named John received a parrot as a gift. The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary.

一個名叫約翰的年輕人收到了一份禮物，一隻鸚鵡。鸚鵡的態度很差，更糟糕的是牠的辭彙。

Every word out of the bird's mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity. John tried and tried tochange the bird's attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music and anything else he could think of to 'clean up' the bird's vocabulary.

從鳥的嘴裏說出的每個字都是粗魯的，討人厭的和帶有下流意識。約翰想方設法改變牠的態度，採取了始終如一只說有禮貌的話、播放輕音樂和其他任何他能夠想到的，為的是「打掃清理」鸚鵡的辭彙。

Finally, John was fed up and he yelled at the parrot. The parrot yelled back. John shook the parrot and the parrot got angrier and even more rude. John, in desperation, threw up his hand, grabbed the bird and put him in the freezer.

最後，約翰感到厭倦，他向鸚鵡大喊大叫。鸚鵡也大喊大叫回敬他。約翰搖晃鸚鵡，鸚鵡生氣了，表現更為更粗魯。無奈之下，約翰伸手抓住小鳥，把他放在冰箱裏。

For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed. Then suddenly there was total quiet. Not a peep was heard for over a minute.

鸚鵡嘎嘎叫，又踢又尖叫達幾分鐘之久。後來突然之間完全安靜下來。沒有吱吱叫足足超過一分鐘。

Fearing that he'd hurt the parrot, John quickly opened the door to the freezer. The parrot calmly stepped out onto John's outstretched arms and said "I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. I'm sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable behavior."

擔心會傷害這只鸚鵡，約翰快速打開冰箱門。鸚鵡平靜地走到約翰伸出的手臂，說：「我相信我可能因為我的粗魯的語言和行動冒犯了你。我為我不適當的行為真誠的懊悔，為糾正我的粗魯和不可饒恕的行爲我打算做我能做到的一切。」

John was stunned at the change in the bird's attitude.

鳥態度上的變化使約翰感到震驚。

As he was about to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his behavior, the bird spoke-up, very softly, "May I ask what the turkey did?"

正當他要問是什麽導致了鸚鵡的行爲產生戲劇性的變化時，這只鳥說話了，相當溫柔：「我可以問火雞做了什麽嗎？」

HAPPY THANKSGIVING! 感恩節快樂！